” I was exclusively watching gay or transsexual videos/pictures. I became obsessed and confused. I’m not sure if I was being brainwashed, but my feminine side was clawing its way to the surface and my thoughts were changing. I knew there was zero chance of ever following through with a transition. Of course I wouldn’t get breast implants. Of course I wouldn’t take hormones. Of course I wouldn’t leave the house dressed like a woman. First off, I’m just too damn shy and self-conscious about that. Secondly, my family is very conservative and I’d be disowned—written out of the will. Guaranteed. Third off, my girlfriend, who is also very conservative, has expressed great disdain for “those types of people.” She would, without a doubt, leave me. If those things happened, I would most likely grab a 12 pack of beer, go out in the garage on a 20 degrees-below-zero February night, start up the car, put on some Pink Floyd, and slip away into eternal sleep. Whew! Well, I began shaving my body on. She said she had to "powder her nose" (so cute) and I assisted her with her chair. When drawing her back from the table, I noted a generous portion of thigh was revealed. NOTE: I am also a "cunt" man, as well as a "tit" man, so my thoughts drifted to what she looked like between her legs. On her return, we indulged in another drink before our food was delivered. I took a chance that she was responding to me sensually & sexually, as I was responding to her. A simply brush of my leg against hers was all it took. She didn't move her leg, but smiled at me when we contacted. Dinner came and went, and our conversation was becoming increasingly more detailed from a sexual point of view. It was becoming cooler, with the sun going down, and I noticed her nipples were becoming pointed and stiff. She had a small wrap with her, and I offered to help her with it. As I guided the cloth to her shoulders, her hand came up to her shoulders and touched my hands. We paused for a brief moment, and I.
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